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‘Your perception changes’: For many, first COVID-19 vaccine dose has clear psychological side effect

'As someone who has had the first vaccine, I did leave that vaccine appointment feeling just a little safer, but more than that, on the path to full security,' says psychology professor
2021 05 16 Rodrigo Cokting by Rick Madonik
Until he received his COVID-19 vaccine at the beginning of May, Rodrigo Cokting, 34, has been largely housebound.

Rodrigo Cokting hadn’t been to the grocery store in more than eight months.

The 34-year-old digital marketer lives in a Mississauga postal code that is a hot spot for COVID-19. Cokting, whose chronic asthma and weight put him at higher risk, knows his chance of surviving the virus is relatively poor.

Since March of last year, he’s lived most of his daily life in fear, weighing the risk of every little choice, wondering if it could lead to illness and death. The second wave of the virus left him even more isolated. 

But May 4 was a turning point: Cokting received his first dose of the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine. The fear that clouded his life dissipated.

Cokting now goes grocery shopping, taking the time in the fruit aisle to choose perfectly ripe honeycrisps. 

“If you asked me a year ago, would I be this excited about picking my own apples? No,” he said. “But that’s how your perception changes after going through something like this.”

While one dose is only the first step toward full protection against COVID-19, it has nonetheless been an important step for many. Those who have received the first jab said they’ve felt relief, euphoria and a renewed sense of hope for the first time in months. This, despite case counts still high and safety protocols like mask-wearing and distancing remaining necessary. Full protection from a second dose for the majority of Ontarians is also months away.

Still, there’s reason for hope: Ontario recently administered one vaccine dose to more than 40 per cent of its population and vaccine supply is ramping up, with a goal to increase that to 75 per cent by June 20. Elsewhere, countries well into their vaccine rollout like the United States — where 46 per cent of Americans have received at least one dose — and the United Kingdom, which has at least partly vaccinated more than half its population, have begun to ease restrictions. On Monday, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced that hugs will soon be allowed again. 

For people in Ontario, the first shot is “the beginning of the end,” said Kelly Grindrod, a pharmacist and assistant professor at the University of Waterloo, who has administered hundreds of doses herself. The finish line is now in sight, she said, and with that comes significant psychological relief.

“Our reality for the last year (has been) all the things we cannot do, all the places we cannot go, people we cannot hug,” Grindrod said. “Even grocery shopping, a regular weekly event, became dangerous.”

The first dose has eased some feelings of peril, she added, especially for those who are older or immunocompromised. 

Efficacy of Pfizer-BioNTech’s first dose against serious illness or death is 52 per cent, though it jumps to 92 per cent up to 21 days after the shot is administered. The first dose of AstraZeneca is 76 per cent effective 22 days after it’s received.

Grindrod said she reminds people of the risks still associated with the virus after their first dose, especially as rates of infection remain high. “The difference is your own risk is lowered a bit,” she said. “But it takes about four weeks to get good protection against hospitalization.”

Another issue has been the uncertainty around the AstraZeneca vaccine. Ontario paused further use of it on Tuesday due to its rare but serious side effect of blood clotting, and limited supply. This has caused some concerns for people who got a first dose and are now unsure when or how they will be receiving their second doses. 

The vaccine relief is still felt, however, by people like Vasie Papadopoulos, a 41-year-old Hamilton resident who received her AstraZeneca dose in mid-April. “I took it with no hesitations because every vaccine is a good vaccine,” she said. She’s still relieved with her choice, she added, as the vaccine has made her feel more protected ever since.

For many, the first dose of any vaccine has been a joyous occasion. Some have commemorated it with masked selfies — their smiles visible through the gleam in their eyes. Jose Lacruz, 49, of Hamilton brought a sombrero along with him to his vaccine appointment. “I felt it was a time to celebrate.” 

Michelle Dias, a 34-year-old Mississauga resident who works in the hospitality industry, marked her vaccine appointment with a TikTok set to Drake’s song “What’s Next,” in which the Toronto rapper muses about the excitement of what’s to come after a period of rest and reflection forced by the pandemic.

“It was a completely surreal experience,” Dias said. Her industry has been ravaged by the pandemic, and Dias considers herself one of the lucky ones who have managed to hold onto their jobs. She and her family live in Peel, an area devastated by some of the highest COVID rates in the province. Her uncle fell seriously ill with the virus, and was intubated for five days.

When the needle finally entered her arm on May 4, Dias thought to herself, “are we finally going to get back to normal?” 

Steve Joordens, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto, said people’s first inkling of relief often comes immediately after securing a vaccine appointment. “The vaccine is now in demand, and that really makes us feel like, ‘OK, this is the path to security, and we want to be on that path,’ ” Joordens said. 

With second doses already scheduled for many Ontarians, there’s a sense of ease knowing the trail to some sense of normalcy is already charted, even if it may be more than four months away for most.

“As someone who has had the first vaccine, I did leave that vaccine appointment feeling just a little safer, but more than that, on the path to full security,” Joordens said.

Due to ongoing supply issues, a second dose for most Canadians — regardless of what type of vaccine — is still around four months away. With high rates of the virus enduring in many provinces, including Ontario, Alberta and Nova Scotia, public health officials have advised governments not to ease restrictions anytime soon. 

But for people like Cokting, the first dose has been the difference between awaiting death and relishing life. He’s still careful to follow public health protocols, only now he’s able to do so with a sigh of relief, knowing he’s been saved.

“I still have stress in my life, but at least it’s not the ‘I could die any day’ type of stress.”

 Nadine Yousif is a federally funded Local Journalism Initiative reporter at the Toronto Star